Beauty amidst chaos

Parents (especially those of us who are new to it all) - Your house may be messy, your brain probably feels like mush. If this was a game of sport the coach would see a battered, beaten, bumbling player and bench you, but as parents you don’t have that luxury of taking a break. I mean, do you remember what it feels like to rest? It used to be a universal law, like gravity, guaranteed to be there for you when your day came to an end. To add to the chaos, you haven’t had a chance to go on that date you promised your wife weeks ago. Time flies, just like a toddler when you’re trying to change their nappy.

Parenting is the time in life when you exchange pillow talk for baby talk.

Talking about baby talk, what about those petty arguments? Where did they come from!? Sometimes we don’t even know why we’re arguing. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation or those intense emotions associated with being hungry – because honestly, when was the last time you were able to enjoy your food the way it was meant to be...? And explain this to me: Sunday mornings. Meltdowns, missing shoes, food on clean clothes, arguments over lost car keys and from your baby’s point of view, getting in the car is supposably the best time to do explosive poos.

But beauty rests amidst this chaos. I think it’s in times like these that we become witnesses of the miraculous, in the heart of the storm we find Jesus. It’s the middle of the night and your child has woken up for the sixth time. This time there’s no apparent reason for her to be awake, the only logical conclusion I’ve come to is that she’s communicating to her friends in the underworld, using those distinctive squeals. But low and behold, you turn over in bed and see your wonderful wife, confused, dazed, and sleep deprived getting up for the umpteenth time to tend to that little miracle. Beauty amidst chaos.  

Somewhere in this we begin to think, “I’ve barely spent any time with God. Quiet times aren’t a thing. I feel isolated yet I can’t find time to be alone, especially when your little one has separation anxiety going on”. Things just seem too busy, too messy, or too crazy to find time with God. These thoughts can be condemning and burdensome and they seemingly tear your love in two. You want to love God and spend time with Him, yet you need to be with your little human and generously love them through the practicalities of everyday. But Jesus shows us that our love for God is found in the way we love others. This is the beauty amidst chaos; Your dying to self and choosing to generously love your little humans daily, is cultivating the life of Christ within.

Added to the daily chaos is the fact that we live in a culture of constant little interruptions and being a parent means some of those ‘little’ interruptions, Literally. Rely. On. You. To. Live.

What do we do with our daily distractions and interruptions? How do we see them? What do they do to us? What do they do to our relationship with Christ?Distractions and interruptions can be seen as things that draw our attention away from the presence of God, but they can also be seen as things that draw our attention back toward the presence of God. I’m yet to spend time in a monastery, but I’ve heard that bells ring at points throughout the day to provide intentional interruptions. When a bell rings, a monk immediately stops what he was doing and moves on to the next thing. Whether it is eating, praying, sleeping, writing, it doesn’t matter what he was busy with, when the bell rings he moves to the next thing. These intentional interruptions serve as a reminder for monks to stop what they're busy with and return their mind to Christ.

Children are the most beautiful interruptions to our daily life because they provide the opportunity to return our minds and remind our hearts to rejoice in Christ. Our daily responsibilities as parents are in themselves acts of surrender, prayer, and worship. Changing nappies, running from one sports game to the next, making dinner, cleaning up, training and teaching. In these moments we have opportunities to generously love.

One thing that I’m learning is that there is so much goodness in the Gospel. Goodness meaning, it isn’t burdensome, and it removes guilt or shame, it is light, easy, and encouraging. It doesn’t mean that the Gospel makes our lives effortless as if we’re running on clouds, because we still feel the hardness of the ground beneath our feet. But it’s sort of like running an ultra-marathon without needing to carry all your gear along the way. You feel and experience the strains and stresses of being a human, but you’re not weighed down or crippled by them. Similarly, the gospel brings life and joy into the parenting experience.

How do you enjoy something that you despise or even find difficult doing? Like running, if you despise it, you will find it difficult to do, and a grateful heart will be the last thing you feel when you are running. But, learn to enjoy it and running becomes something of a worshipful experience that you’re thankful you’re able to do, in the sunshine and rain. Beauty amidst chaos.

Like the monk in the monastery with bells or the crying baby at 2am, the interruptions of our everyday life provide opportunity to return our mind and heart to God. In this we are reminded of the privilege we have in receiving the Gospel. The interruption turns into delight. The weight turns into joy. The burden turns into beauty. To be able to generously love others through the opportunities we are daily given is prayerful worship to God. With Jesus, we can find beauty amidst the chaos.